Hi my lovely friends,
After two weeks I've decided to update my homepage with some really sad news.
I don't know even how to write this down... every time I write or talk about it I just start crying and I still can't believe this happened.
A few weeks back I announced very exited how we I was getting ready for an adventure, my broken leg was finally at a point where I could walk again, and I imagined how great our trip would be, and I was so exited to spend quality time with my hubby and my dogs, just leave all the stresses from the last months behind and finally take a breather. However there was a nagging feeling that something is not quite right, I dismissed it as anxiety...
After over 12 hours of travel, 20 minutes before arriving at out cottage, our car started to act weirdly, my hubby pulled over, and shoot, we had a flat tire. Okay this can happen, right. The thing is the tires were only 3 days old, and nobody could find what caused the problem... no hole and nothing. Well after we received incredible generous help from a very friendly Englishman we went on and drove to our cottage. The problem with the tire was solved within a day. Still that overshadowing feeling came back, and I kept thinking that maybe we should just cancel everything and drive back; but it also seemed like an overreaction for a flat tire.
So we spent a couple of days with family and visited Tintern Abbey and the Spirit of the Green Man Shop and shared a nice meal together. Another day we walked around Symonds Yat and we bought our two Beagle Ladys a yummy doggie Ice Cream, yes they loved it.
After this we headed on to Snowdonia, we spent a beautiful day in Anglesey, a day at Cwmorthin, we went to the beach which, especially Gipsy, loved and we also visited Cregennan Lakes.
My bad feeling started to disappear and I enjoyed the time I had with my family.
Then we wanted to walk the legendary Dinas Emrys trail. The weather was really bad, it was raining a lot, but I was exited to walk this path, and our dogs never really mind the rain either. I didn't take any photos and I didn't film anything because I was waiting that the rain might stop.
So carefully we started to walk the slippery path, and our dogs had fun running up and down the narrow and winding paths. We saw a beautiful waterfall, old oak trees, mossy grounds, and many bluebells. When we finally arrived at the top Gipsy suddenly collapsed, there were no signs before, a few seconds before she was still walking happily around. She couldn't keep herself on her feet, her tongue turned blue and she was panting.
I told my husband to grab her and that we have to go as soon as possible to the hospital.
We were more or less 40 minutes away from the car and it was horrible to see my little baby so weak and helpless.
You all know I love Wales, but at that point I started to hate it very much, no cell phone reception anywhere, so we needed to go back to the parking and we had to ask the people in the Info Center to make some calls for a vet.
The people were incredible helpful and so we were able to drive to a close-by clinic with Gipsy.
When we arrived, the vet took us in immediately and they did all the necessary tests they needed.
After which seems as an endless waiting time we got Gipsy's results.
There was some kind of liquid around her heart, which could have many causes, only with a risky procedure they could have tried to remove it, but chances were that the liquid will come back straight away, and that she will not survive this procedure as she was so weak. Her temperature was way too low and her pulse and blood pressure way to high. They told us that even if they would do everything they could, we could probably prolong her life just for a few weeks, and she has to spend them in the clinic.
So we had to make the very difficult decision to let her go in peace, without the stress and we said our final goodbye.
When your dog gets older you start thinking about this day, and yet as Gipsy was always healthy and never had any major issues except for going deaf and start to forget some things, but she hadn't any problems with that and we still thought that she will have a couple of years left.
She went to sleep peacefully and we could cuddle her until the end.
My heart just broke in thousand pieces in this moment and a part of my soul died right there in a clinic in Wales.
We took our other dog Ivy to her, so she could sniff Gipsy and so she could understand that she's gone.
We made arrangements to cremate her, and luckily this all went quite fast and we could pick up her ashes already the next day- a two hour drive away from the cottage we stayed at.
This was the saddest drive we ever had to do.
All the people at the clinic and the crematorium were very supportive, friendly, understanding and helpful. I'm grateful that we weren't left alone in this situation, so far away from home.
Of course we cancelled the rest of our trip and we drove back home. Because of traffic, and a missed ferry we were on the road for over 20 hours; with only one dog and the remains of the other...
Neither my husband nor I could think straight and we were just floating around. The only thing that kept us going was our sweet Ivy. She wasn't sad at all, she remained happy and was exited for the trip. I wish I could be like her sometimes.
When we arrived at home, I was looking for my cat, she seemed a bit off, but I thought maybe because we were gone for a week, so I took a quick nap. After an hour of sleep and cuddles with Faust and realized that her tummy seemed so much bigger.
So in the afternoon we went again to the vet to check up on her, and there we received the next devastating news, her cancer was back, she had fluid in her tummy and she only had a few days left...
We knew this day would come, we were kind of prepared for it, but only two weeks before we did a complete check up on her as well, and everything was alright.
After three days she slept a lot and got weaker, but she still wanted to cuddle with us and she still ate. However in the evening we asked the vet to come to our place, so she doesn't have the stress of the car anymore. It was time to say goodbye and she went peacefully to sleep in her beloved garden.
We spent all the time we had with her, but also here a part of my soul just died again.
Two very nasty conditions sneaked up on our pets, something you can't foresee and something you just can't prevent, and it showed as so clearly how precious life is, how fragile, and how quickly you can loose the one's you love.
We loved them both so much, they were full family members and we cared for them as best as we could.
They taught us so much about how to live your life.
Gipsy with her warm and open heart, taking her time to sniff on every flower; and Faust showed us that it is also okay to have boundaries and not to accept everything, and she taught us not to give up.
There is so much to say about these beautiful souls, we spend so many years together, we are sharing thousands of fond memories. They were the best friends I ever had.
But at this point I want to stop, I get so sad while writing all this and knowing they will not be part of my life anymore.
Gipsy and Faust we miss you so dearly and you will always be in our heart
We love you to the moon and back
Farewell sweet souls